Cards/Rangers, Jerry Rice and Vegas Winners

It's hard for me to imagine that a baseball team that has been out-managed and has committed a ton of mental lapses in the 1st six games as the St. Louis Cardinals have done can win a World Series. It's even harder for me to imagine that a team that lost Game 6 the way the Texas Rangers did last night has any chance of winning the World Series.

If the Cards manage to win this thing (and personally I don't see how they can't), it will go down as the one of the most improbable championship runs in sports history. This is way more improbable than the Boston Red Sox coming back from down 3-0 against the Yankees in 2004. They only had to win 4 games in a row. The Cards have been in a basic must-win situation since the beginning of September when they were 8 games out of the playoffs, which now seems like an eternity ago. They have taken destiny and turned it into a comic book. It's hard not to root for the Rangers, though.

Speaking of improbability, the Badgers' loss to the Michigan St. Spartans on a last-second hail Mary should remind everyone why college football has the best regular season in sports, bar none. The Oklahoma Sooners' loss should only come as a surprise to newborn babies that know nothing of sports. Bob Stoops is slowly turning into Norv Turner: great on paper, but disappointing on the field. Alabama and LSU would be 10 pt. favorites over every other team in the BCS bowl, but I really like Stanford.

Here are some of the players that were drafted ahead of Carolina Panther WR Steve Smith in my fantasy football draft: Santana Moss, Johnny Knox, Chad Jonson, Brandon Lloyd and Julio Jones, to name a few. Guess who is leading the league in receiving yardage? Steve Smith. This reminds me of Randy Moss when he was basically given away to the Patriots because everyone thought he was washed up, and all he did was produce one of the greatest single seasons a wide receiver ever had. My point is, as long as you have a QB a wide receiver generally will produce, which leads me to this...

The enigma of the legacy of Jerry Rice

Here are the QB's that Jerry Rice played with: Joe Montana, Steve Young, Rich Gannon and Jeff Garcia. Only when Jeff Garcia was his QB did anyone think Jerry Rice had lost it. See what I'm getting at? There is no denying that Jerry Rice is the best receiver in the history of the NFL, and it's not even close. I also would argue that no one has had a better career in the NFL than Jerry Rice - with the personal records and 3 Superbowl trophies, his credentials speak for themselves. That being said, it's a really tough sell for me to accept Jerry Rice as the best football player in the HISTORY of the NFL.

Jerry Rice was in great shape, and his longevity is amazing, but he was fortunate to have played with some outstanding QBs. No other receiver can come close to boasting the group of QBs that Jerry Rice had. The big argument for Jerry Rice is that he was head and shoulders above every other WR that ever played. That's true, but he still is a wide receiver.

There's a reason why a wide receiver has never won a regular season MVP: their value is limited. If I'm trying to put together a championship team, a wide receiver is one of the last pieces to the puzzle, not the building block. If the discussion of Jerry Rice being head and shoulders above everyone else is enough justification, can I then throw Ray Guy who is widely considered the best punter in the NFL into the mix? Of course not, because his value is limited. I'm not saying Jerry Rice isn't an all time great, just not the greatest!

And of course, I have my all time top 10:

11. Ray Lewis (I know it's my top 10, but Ray is really good.)

10. Jerry Rice

9. Reggie White

8. Johnny Unitas

7. Lawrence Taylor

6. Jim Brown

5. Peyton Manning

4. John Elway

3. Walter Payton

2. Tom Brady

1. Joe Montana

I have no idea what happened to a section of my last week's blog. For some reason, my picks weren't posted, and sadly for you they were winners, but I'm still on top of my game so here you go:

The Cards/Rangers over 8: I don't believe in any of these pitchers, so expect a lot of runs.

Lions -3: I am not one of the f**ktards that believe in Tim Tebow.

Giants -10: They always seem to disappoint when they are heavy favs, but not this week.

Seattle/Cincy under 38.5: Expect field goals, not TDs.

San Fran/Cleveland under 38.5: Cleveland can't score more than 10, and San Fran won't score more than 28.

Bonus

Penn st. - 5: The fighting Illini have lost their fight.

Georgia +3: This ain't yo father's Gators. Georgia wins outright.

Clemson-4: Yeah, it's a trap game, I get it. But speed outruns traps. Go Tigers!

Stanford -7: I said earlier I really like Stanford, and here's my proof.

Lebron James

Recently, ESPN had a poll about the top 100 players in the NBA. Here's the top 10:

10. Blake Griffin

9. Deron Williams

8. Derrick Rose

7. Kobe Bryant

6. Kevin Durant

5. Dirk Nowitzki

4. Chris Paul

3. Dwayne Wade

2. Dwight Howard

1. LeBron James

The Enigma that is Lebron James

I get it. Lebron's production is off the charts, and he is the ultimate stat stuffer. I predicted that last year the Heat would challenge the Bulls for the all-time best record and that the King would average close to, if not, a triple double. Which of course was before I saw how flawed a team the Heat were. That being said, by the time the playoffs started I thought they had righted the ship, and they were my favorite to win the championship. I had given Lebron a pass for his previous playoff failures simply because I knew that his previous Cleveland Cavalier teams weren't very good and that the Orlando Magic led by Dwight Howard and the Boston Celtics defensively led by Kevin Garnett made perimeter players mortal. Even the likes of Kobe Bryant, who almost shot the Lakers out of winning a championship until Pau Gasol saved them with gutsy play (that we haven't seen from him since), was limited by the Celtics' incredible team defense. But not this year, no sir. With Dwayne Wade on his side and Chris bosh, no way they can clog the lanes and keep LeBron down. He's just too talented to not bring home the title. THE BEST PLAYER IN THE LEAGUE playing with the 3rd best player - no way.

I was dead wrong. Not only have I jumped off the bandwagon, I'm running along the side of it, throwing burning bottles of booze at it. Not only do I not think Lebron James is the best player in the NBA, I would argue that he is the WORST kind of superstar to have.

In basketball, you build your team around the superstars. You find out what they do incredibly well, and then you plug in the pieces. Consider this: in the NBA finals, everyone on both teams played near or surpassed what they did in the regular season except one player - Lebron James. He was the only one that didn't come close to putting up the numbers that he normally does, and that's fine to a point, but you still gotta get your numbers, even if it means shooting more at a lower field goal percentage. A team will average between 92-108 pts scored per game. When a guy throughout the year averages 26-28 of those points and then it starts to trickle down, we now have to come up with an additional 65-81 pts. When someone averages over 25% of your points scored, that means that the ball is in their hands a lot, which means that other players don't get many touches. Offense in sports is all about finding a rhythm, and if a player does not get the ball much, it's harder for him to establish that rhythm.

LeBron every season averages between 26-30 pts a game. When he has been eliminated in the playoffs, he performs woefully under his playoff production. Last year he averaged 27 points in the reg season and in the finals, 14.3...ouch. I know that he played great in the 1st three rounds in the playoffs, but he hit 17-41 from 3-point range, which is nowhere near what he normally did, and after Game 1 where he hit 4-5 against Dallas from 3-point-land, he was effectively exposed. He has no real mid-range game and no post moves, so teams know that if they don't let him drive the lane, he will shoot threes and that doesn't get it done in the playoffs. LBJ, I still believe you have a lot of time left to stake claim as one of the 10 best players to ever play the game, but greatness is all about winning championships.

Random Thoughts about Sports

I feel the need to give a little bit of a back story before I go into the heart of my blog. I was born and raised on the south side of Chicago, the youngest of 10 (7 boys, 3 girls). Back then, there was no cable television, definitely no world wide web, and our video games consisted of Atari 2600, which is not the kind of gaming system to keep you in the house all day. What we had back then was good old-fashioned fun: kickball, baseball, hide and go seek, basketball and of course, football.

We played football at recess, after school and on weekends. When we played, everyone I knew wanted to be Walter Payton, the greatest running back in the history of professional football. From the age of 7, I took part of the family tradition of watching Chicago Bears games. Breakfast of frozen waffles and bacon, fighting for some quality time in our 1 1/2 bathrooms and the words from Brent Musberger, "You are looking live at ...," was how our Sunday mornings were spent. Sure, I liked other sports, but they were just holdovers until football season.

The Bears weren't particularly good back then. They had a decent defense, but their offense consisted of Walter Payton left, Walter Payton right. In the 80s when they became really good, I couldn't have been happier. I loved the Bears more than anything right up until I realized that vaginas were real and attainable (but not easily), and then I loved them both equally.

In the 90s I went to college at Wisconsin-Whitewater. Wisconsin has a torrid love affair with the Green Bay Packers. They hated the Chicago Bears, and I in turn hated the Packers, but not because I saw them as a threat. It was because in 1986, then Packer defensive end Charles Martin had a hit-list of Bear players they were trying to hurt, and he succeeded by slamming our QB Jim McMahon to the turf, ending his season and severely crippling our hopes of repeating as Super Bowl champs. The Pack were a competitive footnote to me as the Bears dominated the division in the 80s with only the Minnesota Vikings putting up a small resistance at the end of the decade.

Along came Brett Farve. This f**king hillbilly gunslinger came out of seemingly nowhere and started whooping the Bears. At first I thought it was a fad. I was still living in the 80s, and I knew that this young kid was not going to continue this dominance. I would've bet my 4 pair of Cross Colour jeans and my Z. Cavaricci slacks that it wouldn't happen. But the Pack also had Mike Holmgren, and he reigned Brett Farve in, making him the best player in the NFL during the 90s. So not only were the Packers good, but they were kicking the crap out of my Bears, and they even won a Super Bowl. To make matters worse, my roommate, a diehard Packer fan, decorated the living room with Packer newspaper clippings. It was like seeing pictures of my girlfriend getting trained by Sterling Sharpe, Mark Chumara and F**king Farve. Even when the Bears were decent, they were no match for the Pack. It was heartbreaking. It got to the point that I was equally as excited with a Bear win as I was a Packer loss.

The next decade was met with highs and lows. Lovie Smith was hired and made it a point that the Pack would no longer run roughshod over the Bears. He was exactly what we needed to regain respectability. We started beating the Pack, and it felt good like a comfort food; a Bears victory over the Packers was like fried chicken and creamed corn...

And then came Aaron Muthaf**kin Rodgers. This guy is Brett F**king Farve without the stupid game-costing interceptions. I feel like the 90s are about to start all over again, which is why I had to explain myself. I picked the Eagles to win the SB at the beginning of the year even though I knew they weren't the best team because I couldn't say the Packers. It physically hurts me to say it - it's an admission that I have a drinking problem, it's a confession of watching gay porn, and it's a receipt to a donation to the tea-party. IT'S JUST WRONG.

Here's the thing: the NFL has just gone through another philosophical change in the way that they game plan. With the NFL already protecting the QB from getting hit and now protecting wide receivers from getting annihilated as they catch passes across the middle, it's now a passing league, which means that the team with the best QBs and wide receivers have a distinct advantage over the other teams. Those teams are the Packers, Saints, Patriots, Chargers and Eagles, Baltimore being the lone exception by being a contender while not having a superior passing game. (I would have considered the Texans, but injuries have taken them out of the picture.) Now out of those teams, the Packers and Patriots have the 2 best QBs in MFing Rodgers and Tom Brady, which give them a slight advantage over everyone else.

In the end, the team that shows who can defensively match up best with this style of play will win the SB (which is why I still hold out a little bit of hope for my other SB pick, the Jets). The Patriots defense is awful, and unless they somehow magically figure out a way to rush the QB, they won't win. However, the Green Bay Packers can defend. You can tell already as you watch them they are getting better and better defensively with each passing game. We also have to remember the Packers won last year despite having numerous players injured, and now they are all healthy. In other words, Bear fans, we are f**ked.

The Pack will win the SB, and that sucks.

Ron Washington makes me feel indifferent about cocaine. If not for bad hamstrings, Nelson Cruz would be talked about as one of the top 5 players in baseball. Since when are two World Series wins in the last 7 years (when you haven't won any in like 80 years prior) considered a failure? Congrats, Cubs, on a great hire of Theo Epstein. Jimmy Johnson is yawning right now. Why hasn't Michael Jordan, who led the players union in the last NBA lockout, been heard from in this lockout? The Big Ten football conference is awful, and that will unfortunately keep an undefeated Wisconsin team from playing in the BCS bowl championship game. I would not be upset if people take my football picks and bet the opposite...I've been that bad.

Packers- 15: I can't write almost an entire blog on how awesome the Pack are and not have them, right?

Tampa Bay +4.5: They may lose to the Saints, but it will be by a fg or less.

Giants/Bills under 50: That number does not seem right at all.

A lil bonus

LSU-18: They are a juggernaut, and Tenn is not. Juggernauts cover 18 point spreads.

Mich St.-2: Michigan got lucky against Notre Dame, and Mich st. was unlucky against Notre Dame. Luck will have nothing to do with this one.

Oklahoma St. -8: The longhorns can't match the Cowboys' firepower.

Overall record: 6-8-1

Now, grasshoppers, go live your lives 'til next week!

Random Thoughts about Sports

Hey NBA, hopefully someone peeked his head out of the conference room to see how awesome baseball is with a best-of-5 series format for the 1st round. If you're going to potentially cancel the NBA season, you may as well try to fix everything instead of just lining your wallets and losing momentum from the best season you've had since the Jordan years.

For starters, let's get rid of the NBA lottery. For now on, the teams with the best record instead of the teams with the worst record that DIDN'T make the playoffs should get the first pick in the draft. With this rule there would be no need for the lottery. The lottery was installed to encourage teams to not lose on purpose to get a high draft pick. It clearly hasn't worked, as teams throw in the towel at the end of the year positioning themselves for a high lottery pick. Allowing the 'best of the rest' format would prevent teams from trading away their best players and ensure teams will play hard to the very end instead of trying to lose games on purpose.

By the way, I'm rooting for the players in the lockout. It's not their fault that NBA general managers are the worst in sports. Overpaying for mid-level talent is a big reason why the NBA is in a hole. That being said, there is no way the players win this one. The owners hold all the trump cards, and the players say they will hold firm and keep solidarity...I know. I don't believe it, either.

Kudos to Jim Leyland for believing in his team and out managing Joe Girardi and the New York Yankees. Not being tempted to pitch Justin Verlander on short rest in Game 5 will benefit the Tigers in a big way because now you get him 2, maybe even 3 times, against the the Texas Rangers. No way Brett Gardener shouldn't have been batting leadoff for the Yanks, especially when they played in Detroit where small ball plays way better than trying to hit home runs.

With two more Game 5s tonight, MLB has clearly showed that it may no longer be America's game, but it is definitely Must See TV. If the Phillies lose tonight, they will be worse than the Miami Heat. At least the Heat GOT to the finals. I still like them and the Brewers to take care of business.

This is the most college football I've watched in a long time. The 5 most impressive teams have been LSU, Alabama, Oklahoma, Wisconsin and Clemson, but Boise St. and Stanford look really good. I hope that 6 of them go undefeated, and the BCS admits that they are clusterf**ked. Whoever loses between Alabama and LSU are my 1st pick to lay an egg in whatever consolation bowl they play in.

Russell Wilson is what everyone thought Terrell Pryor would be in college. Tiger Woods is David Duvall until he shows otherwise. Herman Cain will be the Joe Frazier to President Barack's Muhammed Ali. Shaquille O'Neal is the only athlete besides Babe Ruth (who played in a era where maxing out was uncommon) to be one of the top 10 athletes in his prospective sport to not reach his full potential.

Let's get down to business:

NY Giants-10: Seattle has to fly across country and play a noon game. They are gonna get smoked.

Green Bay 0ver 52: The pack can score at will - I know this cause Aaron Rodgers scored 53 f**king pts. against me last week in fantasy football.

Lions-6: I love my Bears, but they just aren't very good right now.

Lions over 47.5: I love my Bears, but they just aren't very good right now.

I fully expect to go 4-0. Deuces!

Random Sports Thoughts

Okay, last night was amazing.

Not only did the Boston Red Sox/Atlanta Braves meltdown lift the game of baseball to new heights, but I would argue that the game of sports got a much-needed boost from what I would consider the best day in the history of baseball. For those of you who can give 2 cents about baseball and have no idea about the monumental collapse of the Red Sox/Braves, they both had gigantic leads for the final playoff spot, and somehow both let them slip away. The Red Sox blew the largest lead in the history of baseball so late in the season, a record which would have gone to the Braves, who nearly blew an equally large lead. As Yogi Berra once said, "It ain't over, 'til it's over."

The 1st benefit for sports:

Fans of all sports can now look back on Sept. '11 and recall how two down and out teams made historic comebacks and never gave up hope. Momentum, positive or negative, should never be underestimated by the fan. In turn, this should remind the teams themselves that they should always play hard 'til the very end. As Chris Rock elegantly put it, "'Cuz you never know!"

Finally, I'm sure the agonization of blowing such big leads will haunt each and every player on the losing teams, and they will no doubt look back on what they could have done differently. No one will ever admit this unless years from now they squander all their money away and decide to write a tell-all book, but I believe that it is highly possible at least one player on the Braves/Red Sox played in a game this season unprepared or hungover from a night of partying and cost their team at least a chance of winning, be it a defensive mishap, not knowing what a pitcher likes to throw in a certain count, or just not being as sharp as they normally are due to poor preparation or anything short of giving it there all. Maybe that athlete will vow to never let anything like that happen again, and in turn, a better product will take the field for the family of four that was able to come out one time this year and shell out 250 bucks to see a game played at the highest level. A bit farfetched, maybe, or maybe not.

The real winners in this have been unquestionably the Tampa Bay Rays. Last off-season, they lost their best player in Carl Crawford to the Boston Red Sox, traded away a quality starter in Matt Garza, and let proven home run threat Carlos Pena go, giving the appearance that they were looking to rebuild, especially in the division including the Red Sox and Yankees. With maybe half the payroll as those two powerhouses, the Rays showed that they were indeed the hidden hottie. (Everyone has come across that girl whose daily attire consist of sweatpants, crappy sneakers, a ponytail, and no makeup, and then out of nowhere, she shows up with her hair down wearing a sun dress from Target with just a little bit of makeup, and you try to act like you knew she was attractive all along. Yep, that chick.)

The Rays have shown that they are the never ending underdog and have one of the best front offices in all of sports. Even though I believe they should be contracted or moved due to an awful fan base in Tampa, every year they contend I find myself rooting for them...HARD!

The Atlanta Braves were probably a year ahead of themselves, and injuries depleted their pitching staff. They could no longer cover up for a mediocre offense, so they get somewhat of a pass. The real losers are obviously the Boston Red Sox, who have become the team that they most despised: the NY Yankees, who were once referred to as the evil empire, trying to buy championships with an inflated payroll. I believe in karma. No way the Boston Bruins win a Stanley Cup Championship and the city not give up something; in this case it was the Red Sox. The fans are even screaming for the heads of the manager and GM of the team that led them to 2 World Series Championships in the last 7 years, which is insane.

On a side note, the Cardinals may appear to be winners, but it may turn out that they are the biggest losers of them all. Unless they go on to win the WS, they will be under intense pressure to resign Albert Pujols, the best player in the game, to an ungodly salary and pay him well beyond the prime of his career (which is not good for a small market team). If not, then they will feel the wrath of a very loyal fan base.

Adam Dunn's inept play arguably cost Ozzie Guillen his job with the Chicago White Sox, and now Carl Crawford may cost GM Theo Epstein and or manager Terry Francona his job with the Red Sox. Ozzie Guillen has almost exactly the same credentials as Mike Sciosa of the Anaheim Angels. One WS win apiece, almost identical winning pct., and yet Sciosa is beloved and Guillen is now exiled. The difference...EGO. Not Ozzie's, but GM Kenny Williams'. They knew what they were getting with Ozzie from the get-go, but in my opinion, Kenny Williams let his ego get in the way of Ozzie taking too much credit for being the face of the franchise.

Let's get down to biz: the Tigers are going to prove way too much for the Yanks, who will find that Verlander is more than a match for Sabathia, and the Tigers offense will be hard to tame. Tigers in 5, where they will meet and defeat the Texas Rangers, who will overpower the feisty but less talented Devil Rays. The Phils toughest matchup in the playoffs will be their 1st round opponent, the Cardinals, where a nothing-to-lose approach and 3-4-5 hitting of Pujols, Berkman and Holliday will give the Phils all they can handle, but the Cardinals will eventually lose in 6 games. The Phils will then easily dispatch of the Brewers, and likewise the Tigers, as the City of Brotherly Love will all stick their penises in cheesesteaks and try to pick a fight with everyone who is not from Philly.

The NBA needs to get down to business because I cant rely on the mediocrity of college basketball being my only hoops outlet. An autobiography about an athlete who apparently was unfaithful to his wife and abused pain killers could be written about a ton of athletes. Walter Payton deserves better - I'll pass. I said it once, and I will say it again: the NFL is so competitively balanced that special teams play is now way more important than it used to be, and it used to be pretty important.

After going a dismal 2-3 last week, I stood naked eating a grilled cheese to gain balance back with my gambling intuition.

Houston/Pittsburgh 0ver 45: Pittsburgh defense will not be able to slow down the Texans.

Atlanta -5: Falcons are way too talented for an inept Seattle offense.

New Orleans-7: Jacksonville will have to score 24 points to stay within 7 points of Drew Brees, but they can't.

Overall record: 5-5-1

Random Sport Thoughts

Maybe because I picked them at the beginning of the year, or maybe I'm downplaying the importance of momentum in baseball, but I still like the Red Sox. They are on a free fall, but I like the core of this team. If they make the playoffs, I like Jon Lester and Josh Beckett better than any other 1-2 pitchers in the American League. A buddy of mine calls them J and J dyno-mite. Why is it that most of the black sitcoms in the 70s and 80s always had some crazy catch phrase that defined the show? "Dyno-mite!" "What you talkin bout, Willis?" "Elizabeth! This is the Big One!" It wasn't until The Cosby Show that black sitcoms got credibility for being something other than shuck and jive.

Before you write them off, I would like to remind you that my beloved Chicago White Sox almost blew a double digit lead to the Cleveland Indians in 2005, who got within 1.5 games of the Sox before Chicago righted the ship and turned in one of the most dominant performances in playoff history IN ANY SPORT! Speaking of the Sox, Adam Dunn is having one of the worst seasons IN ANY SPORT for a professional athlete. Not only is his batting average at a historically low (.166), but his strikeout total is actually higher than his batting average. That's like losing your job, leaving early and then coming home to find out that your bf is boning your wife: things can't get any worse.

I have to admit, the Atlanta Braves/Boston Red Sox meltdown has made September baseball Must See TV. Every time I go on Facebook, there is some status update about how the Braves/Red Sox (I would call them Red Braves for short, but that sounds kinda offensive.) are ruining lives. I get it - there are few things worse than having your team a statistical shoo-in for the playoffs only to have them piss it away in the final weeks...gut wrenching.

I have a sneaky feeling that this is the year of the cheesesteak. I think the Phillies will win it all, I think the Eagles will win it all, and no, I don't think the 76ers will win it all. They may not even play a single game, which means watch out for the Flyers, my friends.

Justin Verlander has a great chance to win MVP, but since every team in their division is under .500, he shouldn't. If a pitcher were to win MVP, in my opinion that would mean everyone of his starts were so needed that if he didn't pitch, they would not only stand a great chance to lose, but making the playoffs would be nearly impossible. He's hands down the Cy Young winner. Jose Bautista has been the best player in baseball for the last two years, even with his team hovering around .500 in the AL East, which is an accomplishment in itself, so he's my MVP choice.

The National League MVP looked like a lock for Ryan Braun, but if the St. louis Cardinals make the playoffs with the way Albert Pujols is playing, Pujols may sneak up, take it away and assure that the Cardinals will be overpaying for him. Clayton Kershaw, your name is already being etched on the Cy Young trophy, which you can then hock to a pawn shop to cover your lifestyle when the Los Angeles Dodgers can no longer pay you because they filed for bankruptcy. I'm sure that he's fine, but that would be a hilarious story.

In 16 out of the last 17 years, the NY Yankees were in the playoffs, but no way a staff with Bartolo Colon and Freddy Garcia GOES to the World Series. That will not take away from their excellence as they put their stamp on the greatest professional team in the history of ANY SPORT!

If Cam Newton continues to play this way and leads his team to an 8-8 record, he's my runner-up MVP behind Tom Brady. If the Colts continue to play this poorly, Peyton Manning is 3rd on my MVP list. The only thing holding the Detroit Lions back from great things is their youth, but next year they will be Super Bowl ready. The NFC West has only 2 wins this year, and one came against a team from the West. Take Larry Fitzgerald from that division, and I would be perfectly comfortable with it dismembering like a Big 12 conference

NCAA, shame on you for making it so easy to jump conferences. Syracuse and Pitt in the ACC? Tragic. Once again, just a little reminder that the only thing amateurish about college sports is the way they conduct business.

Jay Cutler will miss 3 games this season, and that's on Mike Martz. Speaking of which, the Bears and Packers go at it again on Sunday. I love the Bears with a passion, and of course, that means I hate the Packers. I am also realistic about things, and offensively the Bears don't match up well with the Pack; specifically. the offensive line is in shambles, and the Pack have a dominant pass rushing attack. The Bears will need to create turnovers and dominate on special teams to pull this one out. I hope my genius is taking a break on this prediction: Pack 20, Bears 10.

With no basketball season in sight, should I take up hockey or jerking off? Why is no one talking about Diana Taurasi for getting kicked out of a European professional women's hoop league for testing positive for PEDs as she leads her team into the WNBA playoffs? Mariano Rivera is a better Yankee than Derek Jeter. I'm a Ryan Gosling fan after watching his movies Crazy, Stupid, Love! and Drive, and because of him now being able to see Eva Mendes naked on a regular basis. That's a pretty good 2011, Ryan.

Last week, I went 1-1-1 after the Cowboys failed me miserably at the 1 yard line for a push.

Patriots -9: Did you know the Pats have covered 8 straight times over the Bills, and the Bills gave up 31 points to the Raiders?

Eagles-7.5: The Eagles own the Giants, and they play the Giants this week.

Saints -3.5: Houston is coming on as a legit playoff team, but they will not beat Drew Brees in his house.

Steelers -11: The Colts are sooooo bad.

Until next week...deuces.

Overall record: 3-2-1

Random Sports Thoughts (Football Edition)

Okay we get it - it's a passing league!

I have become increasingly disinterested in pre-season football games with each passing year, which means my gauge on accurately assessing the 32 football teams is slightly off kilter. This is why I wait until after week 1 to give you a glimpse of what to expect for the 2011 football season. Aaron Rodgers and Tom Brady are the 2 best players in the game of football right now, and I don't care who you have ranked 1st, as long as it's those 2 on top.

The Packers are a tour de force team that should be better offensively with JerMichael Finley healthy and an easy choice to consider making a return trip to the Super Bowl. But I do not like the Patriots as they are constituted right now. They rely waaayyy too much on the pass, and their defense is shaky at best. When I see them, I see the Phoenix Suns: built for the regular season, but not for the playoffs.

It's easy to write off the humiliating loss to the Baltimore Ravens, but the Pittsburgh Steelers did lose the Super Bowl last year. Unless you play in the putrid NFC West, then making a return trip to the playoffs is extremely difficult. Expect a 9-7 record. Anyone that believes in Norv Turner and the San Diego Chargers are either from San Diego or mildly retarded and think the thunderbolts on their helmets are really cool. The Ravens have a super stud in Ray Rice, an aging but effective defense and a solid QB - all things needed to make a Super Bowl run - except I believe the Jets have the same thing. And since they are younger, they will represent the AFC. You didn't think I was going to say Houston, did you?

The Saints are a bit like the Patriots; they are too good offensively to be kept out of the playoffs, but Sean Peyton play-calling scares me, and the defense has given me no reason to think they can make consistent stops. Atlanta losing to Green Bay the way they did last year in the playoffs is a real eye opener, and seeing the way they started off week 1, their eyes are still closed. Tony Romo cost the Cowboys game 1, and Tony Romo will cost them any real chance of going deep into the playoffs. The QBs are just too good in the NFC.

My beloved Bears are the real deal. If Jay Cutler plays well or average, the Bears win, so I look for him to play average or better at least 11 times. The Eagles look really good on paper, but the Miami Heat have made me a bit squeamish on dream teams. They have home run hitters, but can they effectively move the ball when the playoffs will be in cold weather stadiums? Who is their go-to guy when it's 3rd and 7? If the answer is a Vick scramble, then no. If Andy Reid figures that out, then a SB appearance will be in the cards for them. I say yes. So a Jets/Eagles SB will play out, and although the Jets will scheme well, Vick will make enough plays to pull it out.

What's going to happen if Boise state goes undefeated (They will.), Oklahoma goes undefeated (They might.), Alabama or LSU have just one loss (That's still better than any undefeated team in any other conference.) and Wisconsin goes undefeated (They have a fucked up schedule with basically 6 straight home games, 5 road games and then back at home to finish the season, but that offense is a cheesy explosion.)? I'll tell you: a clusterfuck, and hopefully enough for the BCS to have a final four format to settle this once and for all.

I went 2-1 last week only cuz Adam Vinateri missed a fg, and the Colts kept going for touchdowns when they were down by 30 points. All I needed was 3 lousy points. This time, I will fix that.

Lions-9: Did you see how bad the Chiefs are?

Ravens-6: Did you see how bad the Titans are?

Cowboys -3: I'm not big on cross country traveling, but the season is long, and the Cowboys are already in must-win mode.

Deuces!