Saturday, February 1, 2014

How to bet the Super Bowl

How to bet the Super Bowl

Did you know that the Super Bowl has well over 100 different wagers for the game?

Did you know that the Super Bowl has well over 100 different wagers that requires total guesswork in picking the winners?

No?!!! So you think that correctly picking the coin toss is a skill? Guessing that the Seattle punter will punt the ball less than 33.5 yards is a gut feeling, or correctly calling the player to score the 1st touchdown of the game is an innate quality you possess. Get off of your high horse, it's pure luck. I'm sure if you win, you'll scream "I knew it, I knew, I fucking called that, I told you Knoshawn Moreno would get over 3 yds on his 1st carry (that's a re-l wager by the way)

This is not to say that you shouldn't bet, there's a lot of money to be made this Sunday. There are some high win percentage bets out there, that can not only make for a profitable Superbowl but make this game doubly fun to follow along 

-Peyton Manning over 1.5 Touchdowns thrown -230. Sure you have to wager 230 just to win 100, but Peyton Manning threw over 50 touchdowns this year. That's over 3 TD passes a game. Seattle's defense is great but Peyton will throw at least 2 TDs. 

-Steven Hauschka over 1.5 field goals  -150. What do you get when you combine a Seattle offense that struggles to score touchdowns with an accurate kicker? A mutha fucka who will kick at least 2 fgs that's what 

-Eric Decker over a 19.5 yards for one reception -115. Yep if Eric Decker catches a pass for 20 yards or more, you win. If Eric Decker catches a pass for 2 yards and then runs it for 18 more yards, you win. If Peyton Manning throws it to someone else for 15 yards and it tips off their hands into Decker's, 5 yards down the field, you win

Eric Decker over 4.5 receptions -110. So Richard Sherman is gonna be covering Denarius Thomas. No way Wes Welker doesn't get a lot of attention from Seattle's secondary, which leaves... Eric Decker, and I believe Peyton Manning 20+ completions will have at least 5 of them to Decker

Eric Decker over 64.5 yards -115 You can't have a reception over 20 yards, and over 5 receptions and not have at least 65 receiving yards, this is just smart betting

Russell Wilson will throw a 4th quarter touchdown +150. Hey you mean if a QB in the Super Bowl throws a TD in the 4th quarter you'll give me a 1.5 odds?!!! The team is a 3 point under dog, there will be a lot of points scored, and he's playing against a prolific offense, so he'll have to score some points. Ummm sure, plus Wilson is clutch and Denver's defense is mediocre,this is a no brainer. 

There you have it, 5 winners. You can even root for a particular team and still be comfortable with rooting for these wagers, but maybe this just isn't your thing....

No worries, go to that shitty Super Bowl party and buy your $10 football square as you snack on that boring ass veggie tray and overly mayonnaise chicken salad... "Oh wait, is that a Tofu dip?!! bring on the rice wafers". 

"Okay everybody, now it's time to vote for your favorite commercial"

"Who's the team in orange"?

"I hate that Richard Sherman, he's such a thug"

Of course if my picks don't win, they're only for recreational purposes, who actually gambles with money