Sunday, December 30, 2012

Week 17 vegas picks baby!!!

Week 17 is here, the final week of the football season. The NFL dominates too much of my Sept.-Dec. to address anything else but the upcoming games today. So lets get down to it:

Bengals -2.5 over Ravens
Yeah the Ravens kicked the shit out of the Giants last week, so I'm suppose to buy that they are in championship form, now. I don't buy it, the Ravens will be lucky to win a game in the playoffs. Ed Reed has lost about a $1,000,000 this year due to illegal hits, that's gotta take a toll on your psyche. I mean Adam PAC-MAN Jones couldn't blow that much money at a strip club. The Bengals on the other hand is quietly playing like one of the 5 best teams in the NFL and that spells trouble for the Crows
Bengals 20-Ravens 10

Patriots-10 over Dolphins
Every time I take the Pats they don't cover. It's the last week of the season so they need some mojo. The 'Fins played them tough last outing and no one makes better adjustments to an opponent better than Belichek, with a return to action by Gronkowski, (who by the way fucked my fantasy football team) I expect nothing less than a 2 touchdown performance from him just to spite me.
Patriots 31-Dolphins 17

Houston/Colts over 46
Who knows who is gonna win this game, I certainly don't. I never bet against a guy who beats cancer. Head coach Chuch Pagano has done so, and for that reason I root for him. I gotta think though that the Texans hasn't played well all season long just to lose a bye week. I do know this. Andrew Luck can lead his team into some points and Arian Foster is gonna run over the Colts.
Winning Team 27 - losing team 24

Bears-3 over Detroit
Okay I'm pretty sure I know how this plays out, the Bears beat the crappy teams and lose to the good teams. The 6 losses the Bears have incurred this year has been to the Packers (2), 49ers, Seattle, Houston and Minnesota all play off teams if the season ended now. The lions are not a good team. They have an exceptional wide receiver in Calvin Johnson and still has managed only 4 wins. No way the Bears lose, no way...
Bears 44- Lions 0 Calvin Johnson 122 receiving yards

Bears/Lions under 45
I don't care how you slice it:
Bears 44- Lions 0 Bears has 3 defensive/special teams touchdowns 
Bears 34-Lions 10 Bears has 2 defensive/special teams touch downs + an offense
Bears 28 -Lions 16 Bears has 2 defensive/ special teams touch downs
Bears 24-Lions 20 Cutler plays like a franchise QB and out duels a Lions team with nothing to lose
All plausible 

Packers -3.5 over Minnesota
This is as healthy the Packers has been all season long and I can't see how Aaron Rodgers loses with his full complement of receivers, even if it is against a robot who goes by the name of Adrian Peterson. The Vikings has been incredibly resilient. That's mostly due to Adrian Peterson. He is my MVP to to date. I have never actually seen a runaway slave run, but I imagine that slave would run like Peterson. That being said. I close my eyes and let logic kick in; Rodgers or Ponder, Rodgers or Ponder... Rodgers!!! Don't let that hook deter you either, the Packers have no faith in their kicker so they'll be going for TD's 
Packers 24-Lions 17

Cowboys +3 over the Redskins
By the time this game gets underway, the fate of my Bears will have been decided. So even though I can give a rats ass about who wins, I think Romo finds a way to squeak out a victory only to blow it the following week in the playoffs.
Cowboy 23-Skins 22
Next week Seattle 23- Cowboys 22

See you next year!!!

Friday, December 21, 2012

ALL DAY ADRIAN PETERSON (Now that's a shout out) and Vegas Picks

Last week I said that Adrian Peterson was not my choice for MVP and then he rumbled for 200+ yards to lead his team to another victory. If the season ended today the Vikings would be in the playoffs. That is due to Adrian Peterson. If you think that Adrian Peterson is not the NFL MVP to date, then you either live in New England, Green Bay or Denver and are to emotionally attached to give a rational opinion or you need to re-evaluate your life. You probably think Lebron is better than Jordan was, New York Pizza is better than Chicago Pizza and French Kissing is better than oral sex. Adrian Peterson to date is the best player in football, he is my choice for MVP, he is the most influential player in regards to his teams success.

Notice how I used the words to date. Too many times sport writers and personalities commit to a guy as their MVP choice and because they picked them initially, they feel compelled to stick with them even though they are no longer the MVP. The Vikings are 8-6 right now but they are at Houston next week and then at home against the Green Bay Packers. In my book those are 2 losses and that puts the Vikes at 8-8 and out of the playoffs, which would essentially put Peterson out of the running.

The season has 2 weeks left and its time to get busy. It's christmas time and I'm sure many of you have overspent your budget as you try to win your kids affections by buying a shit load of gifts to compensate for your lack of good parenting. That's cool I'm not judging. Here are 5 locks to help ease the mistake of buying your kids a drum set, your girlfriend cubic zirconia, or your boyfriend a mini fridge stocked with beer.

New England -14.5 over Jacksonville
Bill Belichek and Tom Brady does not like to get embarrassed and even though they made a remarkable comeback, only to fall short against the Niners last week. They were embarrassed and they're pissed. I bet you Tom Brady only had sex with Giselle 12 times this week. Plus they are still playing for a top 2 seed. The Jags on the other hand will be considering whether or not to trade for Tim Tebow. You see the how far apart these 2 teams are?
Patriots 51- Jags 6

Cincinnati +4 over Pittsburgh
I picked the Steelers to go to the Super Bowl, so it's a must win game for them. They have owned the Bengals of late, however this isn't the same Bengals and this isn't the same Steelers for that matter. I want the Steelers to win so I can cash in on my Super Bowl pick, but I need a nasty, I'm gonna semi-rape you in a bathroom Big Ben, not the I'm married, I'm gonna have a baby, praise jesus Gentle Ben. What's it gonna be Rothlisberger...
Steelers 21- Bengals 20

Giants -2.5 over Baltimore
The Giants are in must win mode. Whenever the Giants are in must win mode, they seem to win. The Ravens have made the playoffs. They are just as shocked as I am.
Giants 21 Ravens 14

Bears (Beloved) -5.5 over Arizona
Speaking of must wins, holy shit!!!! This is the 1st time I have ever warmed up to the fact of replacing Lovie Smith as head coach. The offense is just to anemic. I treat my loved ones way too shitty on Sundays after a Bear loss to continue to support Lovie. "No I'm not cooking dinner, eat cereal' "I dont care about your home work... stop talking to me". See what I'm saying. At least the Cardinals will provide temporary relief
Bears 31- Cards 17

Saints +3.5 over the Cowboys
Yeah the 'Boys are ballin' and now they're at home, where they will surely decimate the head coach-less Saints. WRONG!!! This is exactly the kinda game the Cowboys don't come thru on. They may win but it won't be pretty and it definitely won't be easy. So prepare yourself Cowboy fans, to call Romo an abundant amount of obscenities
Cowboys 31 Saints 30

Take these winners and pay them credit cards off
Happy Holidays

Friday, December 14, 2012

The Blog of Logic: NFL MVP, Baseball hall of fame, Vegas picks

You ever realize how proficient you would be as an analytical thinker, if you took your emotion out of the thought process? If you're in a heated argument with your loved one and instead of yelling and screaming cause you become so emotionally vested in your belief and just said what the other person said out loud and judge it strictly on the merits of the words and nothing else. I'm saying that's the difference between sleeping on the couch instead of laying in bed getting a blow job. Emotion is a vessel for pride and pride is the devil child of ego and ego has a personal vendetta against logic.

Of course I speak with emotion, emotion is a good thing, and often times it's a great thing, but i also think controlled emotions lead to a better balanced life, and this blog is dedicated strictly toward logic. I will logically argue each and every point without any emotion involved, now take a deep breath and let it go, just let it go boo....wooo saaaa. Now without further ado, let me show you why I'm so great at Sudoku!!!

The reality of it is, is that the NFL MVP requires that you put up monster numbers, while your team has success. Which is why QB's mostly win the award and even though Adrian Peterson is having a monster season, as long as his team is not in the playoffs he will be considered an underdog to win. Now with all that being said, last year the Colts were the worse team in football and this year they are 9-4 and in the playoffs, they are 7-1 in their last 8 games. The only significant difference on their team from last year to this year, is their QB Andrew Luck. Take the names away and say it out loud, ' 2-14 last year, 9-4 this year' that's real valuable if you ask me, but I'm only speaking with logic.

Speaking of Adrian Peterson he may very well break the NFL rushing record less than a year from having his torn ACL repaired (take heed Derrick Rose fans), he may not win the NFL MVP, but he's gotta be an easy choice for Comeback Player of the Year, right? Here's how I would vote for this award. I would take the player he was, before being injured, retired, or on some sabbatical, then I would factor in what he was at his lowest point during his off time, and finally I would factor the player he was, before he was out, versus the player he is now. Last year Peterson had just under a 1,000 yards in just under 12 games before he got hurt, he came back and has put up monster numbers, the thing of it is, is that he has done it faster than what anyone else has done it before, clearly remarkable!!! Now let's factor in his closes competitor, Peyton Manning. His stats from last year were 0's in 0 games played, why cause he had a disassembled neck. No one was even sure if he would ever play again and now he's an MVP front runner. You could argue that Peterson is having the better year but you cant argue that he had to come back from more than Peyton did. Say it out loud, 'torn ACL versus a broken neck'... Wooooo saaaa 

The baseball hall of fame announcements are coming soon, Bonds, Sosa, Clemons, McGwire are all up. If I had a vote it would be Bonds and Clemons in, Sosa and McGwire out. If they never used steroids Bonds and Clemons were hall of famers, the same cannot be said for Sosa and McGwire. Look I get that using steroids is cheating, but if baseball allowed and make no mistake they did, I cannot punish those that did it. On the other hand if it gave them an unfair advantage, I can't reward them for it either, if you look at Sosa's and Mac's numbers, you can clearly see the spike in their stats. Basically I'm omitting the steroid years. Now I definitely would make Clemons and Bonds wait 5 years before voting for them, cause they knew that what they were doing were no-no's. the bigger question is what to do with Manny and A-rod when they become hall eligible, harder to determine when they started.

Kobe Bryant keeps shooting and shooting and the Lakers keep losing and losing, and I love it. Last night they gave up 41 points in the 1st quarter, say it out loud 'the Lakers will be better defensively once our 39 year old point guard who never played good defense returns' I said say it out loud mutha fucka!!! Now Laker fans I will allow emotion, go cry in your pillow.

Vegas Picks
Giants +1.5 over Atlanta
Remember a few weeks ago when the Giants went into San Francisco, and the Niners were talking about how this was a revenge game and then the Giants proceeded to kick the shit out of them, I remember too. The Falcons also lost to the Giants in the playoffs last year and now they're saying the same shit the Niners were saying. Look until Atlanta stops calling their QB Matty Ice, I will not take them seriously, it's something about white guys having Ice in their names that sounds inherently fraudulent. I would take Eli's 'cheese cake' Manning over Matty Ice anytime, because Cheese cake is awesome and Matty Ice is not
Giants 27-Atlanta 13

Denver-3 Over Baltimore
No one is talking about it, but Baltimore is slowly turning into a shitty team right before our very eyes. The Bengals will catch them for the division and the Steelers will overtake them for the wildcard spot. Their defense is mediocre these days which means they have to win with Flacco. Remember last year, when Eli said that he felt like he was an elite QB and everyone laughed and all he did was promptly lead his team to another Super Bowl victory. Well this year Flacco said the same thing and now we're laughing even harder.
Denver 24 -  Ravens 16

San Francisco + 6 over New England
San Fran is the antithesis of the Patriots, now I'm not sure what antithesis means, but I am sure it fits the description of comparing these 2 teams. In my keen eye of watching sports, I know that killer, physical defenses travels well, which is why I picked Notre Dame to beat Oklahoma and USC on the road and give them a very good chance of beating 'Bama. The 49ers are a team that New England has yet to face except for maybe the Seahawks and they loss that one. Plus the Kapernick media train needs a good little kick, what better way to jump start it, than against pretty boy Brady and the Patriots. Here's a misleading stat the Patriots are like 20-0 at home in December, it's misleading because a lot of those games are played against their shitty division opponents, right Dolphins, Bills and Jets. Awww fuck it, my emotion has gotten the best of me 
Niners 23- Pats 20  
Logic 9 paragraphs - Emotions 1

Jets +1.5 over Tennessee 
The Jets are not very good, but they are very good at beating bad teams. The Titans are not a good team. The Jets will not actually win the game, what they will do is allow the Titans to out bad them. Now I would once again, as I am known to do, highly suggest you don't watch this game. It'll make you hate football, at around 10 pm central time, check the score and hear Jon Gruden yell, "somebody please make a frickin' play" (he may actually yell fuck instead of frickin). Anyways...
Jets 20 Titans 16 turnovers and stupid plays 17


Friday, December 7, 2012

My Heisman pick, Kobe top 5? and Vegas Picks

The way I see it, if you're undefeated and playing for the National Championship and you've been the best player on the field for every game, it shouldn't matter whether or not you play offense or defense, for that reason I feel Notre Dame's Manti Te'o should be this year's Heisman  winner, even though I'm generally not a fan of people with apostrophes in their name (ahem, Mike D'Antoni). I wouldn't at all be surprised if freshman Johnny Manziel wins the award, cause the media is hung up on the Alabama upset, even though I would personally have him 3rd on my ballot behind Kansas State's Collin Klein, who was equally as important to his teams success as Johnny Football was, and led his team to within a game of playing for the National Championship. When voting for these awards, emotion should be removed and only rationale of the highest order should be used!!! God, why don't I have a vote?!!!

Kobe Bryant just hit 30k points and could easily become the all-time points leader if he plays another 3+ years. The topic of course is brought up, if Kobe is one of the top 5 players to ever play. I had Kobe ranked #10 when i dropped my all-time top 25, this summer and here is what I wrote:
10. Kobe Bryant is the second best 2 guard to ever play the game. He has been too date, the closest thing we have ever seen to 'You Know Who'. In the last 10 years he has been the 1 guy who you definitively felt if it's the end of the game and the ball is in his hand, it's a bucket. I know stats show that hero ball doesn't work but when the last olympic team needed buckets they didn't go to lebron or D-Wade, they called on the Black Mamba. He had arguably the best mid-range game ever, at times he played like the best perimeter defender in the league, he was the most competitive person in his era, he won 5 championships, 2 finals MVP, 1 regular season MVP, 10x's All 1st team NBA, 9x's defensive 1st team, dropped 81 points in a game and beat a rape charge (I kinda wish every statistical run could end in a overturned criminal charge, for example "...And that Mofo beat a murder rap")

Why he's not higher: Kobe Bryant got kinda lucky when he went to the Lakers. I mean playing with Shaq put him on an instant title contender and no doubt Kobe's play was a big part of them winning 3 straight 'chips but that was Shaq's team. I hated the Lakers and I always yelled, "why is Rick Fox, Derek Fisher and Robert Horry so wide open all the time" because Shaq was the most dominant force on the team and everyone was collapsing on him leaving those role players wide open. One of the measuring sticks to find the greatness in a superstar is how good he makes role players and Shaq was the one that did that for them.  Kobe was the closer for sure, but he never made anyone better, which is why when Shaq left they were 1 and done in the playoffs for 2 years and missed the playoffs in the other year. I always think that Magic kind of had the same situation. Magic could have ran Kareem off the team if he wanted, but Magic was all about winning, Kobe was all about winning too, as long as he was the man, which ultimately led to the Lakers getting rid of Shaq. They could have won 6 titles if they had stayed together but it wasn't to be and that's why Kobe's top 5 talent couldn't overcome his lack of overall leadership which keeps him behind this far better teammate... (The rest of my top 25 can be found on

I have been uneven with my Vegas picks these last 2 weeks going 1-3 last week, and 2-2 the week before, but with the air of unemployment surrounding me in my swanky, Detroit, Red Roof Inn hotel room, I can only get better...

Jets -2.5 over Jacksonville
last week the Jets struggled and struggled to score points, so they benched Mark Sanchez and naturally it should have been Tebow time, but no Tebow is out with fractured ribs, so now they go back to Sanchez. We as football fans were saved from non-stop Tebow coverage, that's gotta mean something.  BTW I strongly suggest you don't watch this game, it will hurt your eyes...
Jets  19- Jags 13

Bears-2.5 over Minnesota
To my recollection last weeks loss to the Seahawks, was only the 2nd time the Bears loss when Cutler played at the very least a decent game. Some of that blame goes to Lovie who should know, that if you're up by 7 points and have a chance to go up by 10, take the points, to me that swung the game, even though it didn't play out until the very end. Now the Bears face the " I'm not sure if Adrian Peterson's surgery didn't cost $6 million dollars" man, he's a beast, but Cutler will out duel Steve Austin, for this I'm sure of 
Bears 24 - Vikings 17

Tampa -7 over Philadelphia
Ummmm... Have you not read my last 5 blogs
Tampa 38-27

Tampa over 47.5
Uhhhh, what?!!!

Cowboys + 3 over the Bengals
The Cowboys as an underdog is almost a must play. As soon as you write them off, is generally when they are at their best. The Bengals have been playing awesome these last few weeks. It's a perfect storm, the Cowboys will win this week and get you back on the bandwagon and then unscrew the wheels the following week. They live their entire football season for you to put your eggs in the Cowboy basket and then they stomp on them, it's as if they are the shittiest Easter Bunny that ever lived. You're no Guardian Cowboys, you're no frickin Guardian
Cowboys 24-Bengals 21
Next week Cowboys lays an egg against Pittsburgh