Friday, October 14, 2011

Random Thoughts about Sports

I feel the need to give a little bit of a back story before I go into the heart of my blog. I was born and raised on the south side of Chicago, the youngest of 10 (7 boys, 3 girls). Back then, there was no cable television, definitely no world wide web, and our video games consisted of Atari 2600, which is not the kind of gaming system to keep you in the house all day. What we had back then was good old-fashioned fun: kickball, baseball, hide and go seek, basketball and of course, football.

We played football at recess, after school and on weekends. When we played, everyone I knew wanted to be Walter Payton, the greatest running back in the history of professional football. From the age of 7, I took part of the family tradition of watching Chicago Bears games. Breakfast of frozen waffles and bacon, fighting for some quality time in our 1 1/2 bathrooms and the words from Brent Musberger, "You are looking live at ...," was how our Sunday mornings were spent. Sure, I liked other sports, but they were just holdovers until football season.

The Bears weren't particularly good back then. They had a decent defense, but their offense consisted of Walter Payton left, Walter Payton right. In the 80s when they became really good, I couldn't have been happier. I loved the Bears more than anything right up until I realized that vaginas were real and attainable (but not easily), and then I loved them both equally.

In the 90s I went to college at Wisconsin-Whitewater. Wisconsin has a torrid love affair with the Green Bay Packers. They hated the Chicago Bears, and I in turn hated the Packers, but not because I saw them as a threat. It was because in 1986, then Packer defensive end Charles Martin had a hit-list of Bear players they were trying to hurt, and he succeeded by slamming our QB Jim McMahon to the turf, ending his season and severely crippling our hopes of repeating as Super Bowl champs. The Pack were a competitive footnote to me as the Bears dominated the division in the 80s with only the Minnesota Vikings putting up a small resistance at the end of the decade.

Along came Brett Farve. This f**king hillbilly gunslinger came out of seemingly nowhere and started whooping the Bears. At first I thought it was a fad. I was still living in the 80s, and I knew that this young kid was not going to continue this dominance. I would've bet my 4 pair of Cross Colour jeans and my Z. Cavaricci slacks that it wouldn't happen. But the Pack also had Mike Holmgren, and he reigned Brett Farve in, making him the best player in the NFL during the 90s. So not only were the Packers good, but they were kicking the crap out of my Bears, and they even won a Super Bowl. To make matters worse, my roommate, a diehard Packer fan, decorated the living room with Packer newspaper clippings. It was like seeing pictures of my girlfriend getting trained by Sterling Sharpe, Mark Chumara and F**king Farve. Even when the Bears were decent, they were no match for the Pack. It was heartbreaking. It got to the point that I was equally as excited with a Bear win as I was a Packer loss.

The next decade was met with highs and lows. Lovie Smith was hired and made it a point that the Pack would no longer run roughshod over the Bears. He was exactly what we needed to regain respectability. We started beating the Pack, and it felt good like a comfort food; a Bears victory over the Packers was like fried chicken and creamed corn...

And then came Aaron Muthaf**kin Rodgers. This guy is Brett F**king Farve without the stupid game-costing interceptions. I feel like the 90s are about to start all over again, which is why I had to explain myself. I picked the Eagles to win the SB at the beginning of the year even though I knew they weren't the best team because I couldn't say the Packers. It physically hurts me to say it - it's an admission that I have a drinking problem, it's a confession of watching gay porn, and it's a receipt to a donation to the tea-party. IT'S JUST WRONG.

Here's the thing: the NFL has just gone through another philosophical change in the way that they game plan. With the NFL already protecting the QB from getting hit and now protecting wide receivers from getting annihilated as they catch passes across the middle, it's now a passing league, which means that the team with the best QBs and wide receivers have a distinct advantage over the other teams. Those teams are the Packers, Saints, Patriots, Chargers and Eagles, Baltimore being the lone exception by being a contender while not having a superior passing game. (I would have considered the Texans, but injuries have taken them out of the picture.) Now out of those teams, the Packers and Patriots have the 2 best QBs in MFing Rodgers and Tom Brady, which give them a slight advantage over everyone else.

In the end, the team that shows who can defensively match up best with this style of play will win the SB (which is why I still hold out a little bit of hope for my other SB pick, the Jets). The Patriots defense is awful, and unless they somehow magically figure out a way to rush the QB, they won't win. However, the Green Bay Packers can defend. You can tell already as you watch them they are getting better and better defensively with each passing game. We also have to remember the Packers won last year despite having numerous players injured, and now they are all healthy. In other words, Bear fans, we are f**ked.

The Pack will win the SB, and that sucks.

Ron Washington makes me feel indifferent about cocaine. If not for bad hamstrings, Nelson Cruz would be talked about as one of the top 5 players in baseball. Since when are two World Series wins in the last 7 years (when you haven't won any in like 80 years prior) considered a failure? Congrats, Cubs, on a great hire of Theo Epstein. Jimmy Johnson is yawning right now. Why hasn't Michael Jordan, who led the players union in the last NBA lockout, been heard from in this lockout? The Big Ten football conference is awful, and that will unfortunately keep an undefeated Wisconsin team from playing in the BCS bowl championship game. I would not be upset if people take my football picks and bet the opposite...I've been that bad.

Packers- 15: I can't write almost an entire blog on how awesome the Pack are and not have them, right?
Tampa Bay +4.5: They may lose to the Saints, but it will be by a fg or less.
Giants/Bills under 50: That number does not seem right at all.

A lil bonus
LSU-18: They are a juggernaut, and Tenn is not. Juggernauts cover 18 point spreads.
Mich St.-2: Michigan got lucky against Notre Dame, and Mich st. was unlucky against Notre Dame. Luck will have nothing to do with this one.
Oklahoma St. -8: The longhorns can't match the Cowboys' firepower.

Overall record: 6-8-1

Now, grasshoppers, go live your lives 'til next week!

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