NFL playoff predictions equals one sizzling blog

How was your last 7 days? Mine was awesome thanks for asking. I started each and every morning watching Miley Cyrus on the VMA's just to remind myself, not to take life so serious. I gotta admit, when I 1st saw it, I was asleep on my couch and woke up and saw her 'twerking'. I initially thought I was looking outside my window and started to yell "get away from my house you crack heads, but nope it was just my giant 50 inch TV showing Miley and Robin Thicke, reminding us that there are just some things white people shouldn't do. Why I'm sharing this with you? Because when I'm relaxed and laughing (Extremely Hard) I get a sort of clairvoyance, that allows me to see into the future. I've yet to harness these powers so they only work for menial things like: 'head to the grocery store, bacon is on sell', 'it's ok to text and drive no cops are around' and of course my fav 'you wouldn't believe who's making it to the NFL playoffs this year'. Last week, I got you jump started on the NFL season with team predictions based on the Vegas odds. Now it's time to get down to some serious biznacks

AFC
This was a pretty easy call. There are just not that many teams that are legitimate in the AFC this year. Broncos, Patriots, Texans, Colts, Bengals, Ravens, Chiefs. Yep I got 7 teams and 6 makes it to the playoffs that leaves only 1 team out: "Dun, Dun, Dun" (That's the proverbial piano piano playing to build tension)

Division Winners
Broncos, Patriots, Texans, Bengals

Wild Cards
Ravens, Chiefs

Wild-Card Round
Sorry Colts, you won way too many close games last year, this year you lose at least 1 of those that keeps you on the outside looking in. Here's how this shakes down... The Ravens play the Bengals in the 1st round and the Bengals finally wins a playoff game, Cincy is legit with a solid defense, a solid QB and the 2nd best wide receiver in the game in A. J. Green. The Texans beat a game Chiefs team in a close one and then face the Patriots in the 2nd round

Conference Semi's
Broncos overpowers a Bengal team with a hungry Peyton Manning and a 'I can't believe I keep fucking up but they let me play" Von Miller. The Pats will have Rob Gronkowski back, a nice running game and receivers who played a full year with Tom Brady, mix that in with a do you really want to bet against Belichek/Brady losing their 1st round playoff game and add a little Houston has never shown themselves to be mentally tough enough to win a big playoff game on the road and it should mean the Pats advance.*

Conference Finals
Manning versus Brady. Manning needs this way more than Brady. As great as Peyton has been, if you are not from Indy or Denver and don't hate the Patriots, you have to say that Brady has been the better QB over the course of their careers. However it's still really close and another SB appearance for Manning, with a win, could sway things back in Manning's favor and if Brady wins, then we can revive the Brady being the best ever debate. Myself, I gotta go Manning this year and this has nothing to do with him throwin' 7 touchdowns in week one (yes, yes it absolutely does, but still... ) Broncos on a Peyton last minute drive 34-31

*(footnote if the Texans get the 2nd seed they'll be the home team and I think they could beat the Pats)

NFC
Way more difficult to predict. This is like going to the Bellagio buffet in Vegas but you're also counting calories. You know that everything out there is great but you gotta choose, prime rib or Filet Mignon, Mashed Potatoes or Mac & Cheese, Cheese cake or Bread Pudding. My point is tough decisions had to be made. I'm talking Gwen Stacey/Mary Jane Watson, Prince/Michael Jackson, ass/titities.  I even watched Miley and Robin back to back just to make sure I got this right

49ers, Seattle, Falcons, Saints, Giants, Cowboys, Eagles, Red Skins, Bears, Packers, Lions are all playoff caliber, sorry I had to leave out the Rams who could probably make the playoffs in the AFC

Division Winners
49ers, Bears, Falcons, Cowboys

Wild card
Lions, Packers

Yep Seattle is out, even though they may win 10 games, Giants are done, they'll be 0-2 after this week and the division is 2 evenly balanced for them to pull it out, ditto for the Redskins, The Saints will come up just a tad bit short as they will suffer a bad road loss that just keeps them out with a 9-7 record.

Wild-Card round
Falcons at home against the Lions is the kind of game the Falcons can win. Ndamukong Suh, late hits the Falcons into 17 extra points carrying them to a 10 point victory. The Packers will go on the road against the Cowboys and seriously,  how could you pick the Cowboys, how could you?  I want to know how could you?!!! That would require Tony Romo outplaying Aaron Rodgers. No f**king way.

Conference Semi's
The Packers have to once again travel to San Fran. San Fran has their number, 920-own-pack. Ha, you really trust Matty Ice to win a road game in Jan on a frigid field, really? My beloved Bears romp the Falcons as Tony Gonzalez realizes how foolish it was to think that Steven jackson was the difference between them and the Super Bowl.

Conference Finals
Ugh, I generally never pick a team to return to the SB after losing the previous year. however the 49ers are a match-up nightmare for the Bears. I don't want to talk about this. It's my blog and I can do what I want. 49ers win.

Super Bowl
Broncos versus 49ers
Another all-time great Super Bowl will go down here. The speed of the Denver linebackers will keep Colin Kaepernick in check and Peyton Manning will fight off the frigid air to beat up a vulnerable 49ers secondary. San fran loses again in heartbreaking fashion 27-24

Ok now let's focus on the present
A shaky 1st week as i went 2-3, who would have thunk that the Saints would only give up 17 points, the Colts would only score 7 second half points against the Raiders and the Rams turnovers would keep The Cardinals around. Oh well here we go...
Cowboys +3 I love the Cowboys on the road as a dog
Packers over 49.5 The Pack at home with decent weather equals a lot of points scored
Steelers under 41 I don't believe the Steelers/Bengals are capable of scoring more than 4 combined touchdowns and nor should you
Denver over 55 The Manning brothers aren't here to settle for FG's, trust me on this boo!!!

Kevin Bozeman can be heard or seen on the following stations
XM 247 & Fox Sports Radio Sunday nights at 10:15 Central Time
Chicago 560 Am & 560wind.com Sunday mornings from 10am-noon
The Mancow Show Wednesday mornings check your local listings
For Kevin's Comedy tour dates check out his website www.kevinbozeman.com