I predict the NFL playoffs and give a slight hint as to why your marriage is failing

Predicting the NFL playoffs has become quite the tricky little process. I equate it to picking a spouse. It's easy to pick the one that looks good. I mean every man wants that big booty girl, who's faithful, a great cook with incredible bed room skills. Realistically, that good looking girl, constantly craves attention from other men, can barely boil water and purposely uses her teeth to gnaw on your penis in hopes of us never asking for a blow job again. (For the record ladies, it doesn't work). 

It doesn't matter though, we almost always choose the best looking girl we can get and deal with the consequences later, which is quite often misery. All the while you pass up that girl, that can cook some shit up, would never think of going outside the relationship and has a sexual skill set of a Cinemax porno, unfortunately she's got a chip tooth and an A-cup. So we pass up the marriage material girl to satisfy our materialistic needs.

It's no different than football, Ravens, Giants, Packers all snuck into the playoffs and yet they're our last 3 Super Bowl winners, because they're the reliable ones. They had quality defense, great QB play and gelled at the right time, but most prognosticators took the sexy pic. We see the 13-3 record and think all that looks so good, forgetting that 10-6 team that had to grit out some victories, go thru adversity while building team chemistry. That's what wins, compatibility not hotness (that's a relationship metaphor)

The difference is that this year I would argue that there is no sexy pic. The Patriots lost their two headed monster for tight ends, one to injury and one to a lil bit of murder, yes murder. The Broncos defense is shaky at best and Seattle wide receivers are mediocre in a pass happy league. Those are the consensus 3 best teams, so every team has a chipped tooth so to speak. However I as always am not deterred, so here we go...

Wild-card round 

49ers over Green Bay. I hate the Packers, I really, really do, but I hate being wrong more. I wouldn't pick against the Pack just because I hate them. Their  defense is awful and Aaron Rodgers needs to be the Aaron Rodgers of 2011 and he's not there yet. 49ers 31 -Packers 24 (this does warm my heart)

Chiefs over Colts The Colts just went and spanked the Chiefs in Kansas City a couple of weeks ago. I think both teams has some underdog value here, but the Chiefs has a coach and a QB with chips on their shoulder and I think they squeak it out. Chiefs 20-Colts 17

Bengals over San Diego. Marvin Lewis has been the head coach for this team the last 11 years and has not one playoff victory to show for it. How can that be? He's at home, with lots of talent and they get it done or else.... Bengals 30- Chargers 20


Saint over Philly I was pro Saints all week, and then i changed my mind to Philly cuz it's gonna be freezing cold. When it's that cold  I don't trust Brees and I don't trust Jimmy Graham, but I do trust LeSean McCoy. However in picking games you gotta look at the big picture. In my big picture, I don't see a 49er/Seahawk match-up in the 2nd round. That game is meant for the NFC championship or its not gonna happen. So either its the Niner lose or the Eagles, so indirectly, I'm back on the Saints bandwagon. Who dat?!!! Saints24 - Eagles 21

Divisional Playoffs

49ers over Carolina

Hello Carolina, welcome to the playoffs. It's a learning curve boys, welcome to lesson 1. The Niners athletic linebackers nullifies Cam. 49ers 23-Panthers 13

Seattle over New Orleans. Remember last time the Saints traveled to Seattle for a playoff game. They got trounced. Well Seattle is wayyyy better than that team. Seattle 34 -Saints 10

New England over Cincy. hooray Marvin Lewis got his 1st playoff victory, that should get him 11 more years. I know what the Bengals did to the Patriots earlier this year but now Belichek has 2 weeks to prepare and Dalton just makes too many mistakes. Pats 20-Bengals 13

Denver over Kansas City. It's really hard to beat a team 3 times in one season, but here we are. The Broncos offense will overpower, yet again,a very game Chiefs team

37-27

Conference Championships

Denver over New England. If Tom Brady wins this, he and Bill Belichek will go down as the best QB and head coach ever and I don't care if they win a Superbowl or not. I don't trust Pats wide receiver Danny Amendola to be playing in this game let alone be a deciding factor. I almost feel I'm taking the easy way out by picking Denver but it is what it is until Peyton Manning chokes again

San Francisco over Seattle. By the time the 49ers play in Seattle they would have amassed 2 playoff road victories and that vaunted 12th man in Seattle will be nullified. Michael Crabtree for the Niners will be the playmaker they need to win a game late Niners 20 Seattle 17

San Francisco over Denver 

It's gonna be 12 degrees in NY. The niners will be way too physical for Denver. San Francisco will run the ball down Denver's throat. I expect a huge disparity in time of possession and of course with no Manning on the field, the Broncos have no chance San Fran 27- Denver 17

There you have it, book it and seal it!!!