The Enigma that is Tim Tebow

Dead Men Walking! That's the proverbial term that best describes the Chicago Bears last week. They lost to Tim Tebow and the Denver Broncos before they even suited up. It was just a matter of playing the game and letting it unfold, typical late-game Tebow magic. I know everyone says that if Marion Barber would have just stayed in bounds, the Bears would've never lost that game, but that's my point. In all of my years of watching football, I can only think of maybe one other time when someone's sole purpose is to run out the clock, and instead they run out of bounds, stopping the clock to give the team the ball back with time to efficiently drive down the field to score points.

It didn't matter that Barber didn't stay in bounds. This just happens to be one of the more improbable ways the Bears would have lost. If Barber stayed in bounds, the Bears would have punted, and you know what? The punt would have been blocked. If the Bears pinned the Broncos deep in their own territory with less than 20 seconds left, Tebow would have completed a 30-yard pass, and then there would have been a roughing the passer penalty for 15 extra yards, and the kicker would have made a 65-yard fg to tie the game.

"If only Barber didn't fumble in overtime!" Irrelevant, I say! Incredibly accurate kicker Robbie Gould (who had earlier made a 57-yard fg) would have missed a 37-yard chip shot. Mike Martz would have called a pass play for no apparent reason, and it would have resulted in an interception. I have figured this out: it's just meant to be. The Bears were doomed right from the get-go. The only problem is that they were gonna lose in the most heartbreaking fashion, and it is the worst loss I have ever experienced as a diehard Bears fan, surpassing the 38-24 loss to the Miami Dolphins back in 1985, which prevented them from going undefeated that year.

The frustrating thing is that everything I know about the way to win football games gets thrown out the window when it comes to Tebow. He's as unconventional as they come. Awful for 58 minutes, and the best there ever was for the last 2 minutes. It doesn't matter that his 7 wins have come against 4 scrubs at the opposing QB position (Moore, Palko, Ponder and Hanie), a QB who just came out of retirement (Palmer), another QB who leads the league in interceptions (Rivers), and another QB who is mediocre until the month of December and then plays really well (Sanchez). This guy still gets it done, even when you say, "No f**kin way they win this week." Does he gets too much credit? I think so...but I can't be so sure anymore. Does Marion Barber run out of bounds for any QB not named Tebow? I doubt it. The Broncos defense was horrid when Kyle Orton was QB. Enter Tebow, and now they limit every team to under 20 points, and when they don't, they make sure to score a defensive TD so that the Holy One has a chance to create his magic.

I don't believe this will continue. Is this a magical year? Unquestionably, but this can't be what Tim Tebow's whole career will be like. Why teams play a preventative defense against Tebow when he can't hit the side of a barn is a question I can't answer.

This week, the Broncos play the New England Patriots. They will have to score points this week. Tom Brady is the QB he's going against, an all time great. He will not be held to under 17 points. As a matter of fact, he will score at least 24 points, which means Tebow will have to score points the other 3 quarters. Of course, The Pats have one of the worst defenses in football, so perhaps the stars will continue to align for Tebow. In the end, I only know that every week something improbable has to happen for the Broncos to win, and something improbable does happen. This has made me consider the option of going to church, at the very least to have God Tebow-tize my picks for the week.

Detroit/Oakland over 47.5: This game has shootout written all over, as two undisciplined defenses will give up a ton of points.

Eagles/Jets over 44: The Jets are playing with incredible desperation, and Vick and the boys are playing for pride...shootout!

Bears/Seahawks over 36: There will be points scored in this game, even if it means 4 defensive touchdowns and 3 field goals. For those of you who don't know basic math, that's 37 points.