NFL predictions is there anything better than that

Of the 3 major sports, picking the NFL winners is the hardest to do. It's just so many variables, but luckily, I'm a genius and I laugh in the face of adversity, ha, ha, ha, see. With the help of an old Christmas Carol, I used these tools to make my 2012 football predictions

On the 1st day of the NFL regular season my true love gave to me:
12 NFL preview shows
11 pre season games watched
10 ESPN Insider visits
 9 days of playing Madden
 8 different football pools
 7 mornings of revisiting the history of football
 6 days of timing myself in the 40 yard dash (I'd rather not give my time)
 5 FAANNTASSY FOOTBALL TEAMS
 4 Fanatic Football friends
 3 Days of crying
 2 days of running around naked with a football in my hands
And one of the great prognosticators (um that's me), unravel the mystery which is 2012 NFL season

Have Nots:
I would love to hang out with Norv Turner, it's amazing how that guy keeps a job. I would ask him  "Norv, what do you say to team management year after year, when your team fails to play up to their potential? I mean I consistently don't play up to my potential in life and yet no one shales my hand and endorses me, how Norv, how do you do it". I have read several predictions where the Chargers are picked to win 12 games...huh, what? I think most of these articles have wrongfully assumed that Norv Turner has been fired, he hasn't, so stop picking that guy. The Jets have Tim Tebow and I will NEVER pick a team with Tebow on it as a playoff team. The Bengals will drop off in a rugged division, sophomore QB, sophomore receiver equals 8-8 record.

Something is wrong with the Dallas Cowboys, I'm not sure what it is. It's like looking at a good looking girl and just not feeling right about her, she wears shitty shoes that doesn't match her outfit, she's got a penis, a crazy shaven vagina something is off and that's how I see the 'Boys, super talented but a defect that I can't quite place where it comes from. Drew Brees is great but Roger Goodell took away key components of that Saints team, (you know like the head coach) in my opinion to keep them from making the playoffs, without actually admitting it, so for that reason I can't pick them. The Lions ain't no joke but that defense is overrated and no way they make all those great comebacks like they did last year. Now let's get it on:

AFC
It's sooo easy to pick the New England Patriots to win the AFC, they play in arguably the easiest division in the AFC, which means they should easily amass the best record in the conference, if not the league. Truth be told if Tom Brady had played like Tom Brady normally plays, they probably would be the reigning Champs right now. Brady got lucky against the Ravens being outplayed by Joe Flacco and he missed 2 clutch throws in the drive that could have iced the game late against the Giants in last years Super Bowl. They arguably have a better team than last year, with the help of the draft and acquisitions, it's an almost no-brainer to pick them to return back to the Super Bowl. However, they do have 1 thing working against them and it's the sole reason why I can't pick them. The Super Bowl runner-up syndrome. In recent years, teams that lose the Super Bowl don't come back with the same edge as they did the previous year. It just takes something out of them. Which is why I so deftly called the Denver Broncos upset last year against the Super Bowl runner-up Pittsburgh Steelers. Football is about having a mental edge as well as being physically prepared and there's no way that the Pats don't make the playoffs but they will stumble somewhere in the playoffs. I argued this point a couple of months ago with a good friend in a diner in LA late into the morning and I never argue that long unless I'm right, so book it!!!

I don't know about you but in the regular season , I never bet against Peyton Manning. Now I'm suppose to bet against Manning when he has a chip on his shoulder, ummm no thanks. He will lead his team to the playoffs cause that's what Manning does and if he doesn't, that only means he never fully recovered from his neck injury. I however do not fully believe that the Broncos, who will win about 10 games this year, can go on the road and win 2 road games to get to the SB, that being said, if Tebow can win 1 game in the playoffs with that team, then it wouldn't surprise me if Manning wins 3. Houston will easily walk thru to the playoffs where they play in a division that's way too young to compete with them. They will have confidence and not be an easy out for anyone, but Matt Schaub outplaying the QB's in this conference to make it to the SB?!!! Unlikely. I'm gonna take a flyer on the Bills as being a wild card team I think they will produce enough offensively to support the defense but they're one and done. You know who else I don't bet against Ray Lewis, that dude is a leader if he says he's gonna win, I believe him, right up until it's the AFC championship game and then not so much.

Which leads me to my AFC Super Bowl pick. It seems like I always pick them, but I just like Mike Tomlin and Ben Rothlisberger, it dosen't hurt that the Pittsburgh Steelers is the best run organization in football. They have mega talent at wide receiver which is what you need to be able to compete in the league right now, and now that Hines Ward has retired they'll be even better . They can run when they have too and their defense is stout. Throw in Big Ben who just wins year after year, Tomlin who is one of the best coaches in the game, along with having a chip on their shoulder from losing to Tim Tebow, it adds up to another SB visit.

NFC
I want to pick the Bears, I really, really do. I think the offense will be as good as it has been since that magical season in 1985. Jay Cutler, Brandon Marshall and Matt Forte makes up one of the best QB/WR/RB tandem in the NFL along with Houston's trio of Schaub, Andre Johnson and Arian Foster. However, Brian Urlacher is just to important for the Bears defensively. He's not the best player on their defense that distinction belongs to Julius Peppers, but for the way the Bears scheme defensively, he's their most important defensive player, which means the Bears defensively without a healthy Urlacher will be in the middle of the pack. Now I think the Bears will be great offensively but not as great as those fuckheads up north so I can't pick the Bears... but if Urlacher plays like Urlacher, we are right there, so close, so god damn close!!!

Hey the Giants will start out on fire, most SB champs do. That defensive pass rush they have can lead a team to the playoffs all by itself. They can be great at times and infuriatingly inconsistent at others, which is why I can't pick them as Super Bowl repeaters. The Falcons will turn the corner. With 2 studs at wide receivers, a very good QB, who will eventually stop choking (By the way did I mention how awful the nickname Matty Ice is) and a solid running game to boot, they will win their division and win 1 playoff game but the NFC is loaded son and that defense is not strong enough to carry them to the SB. I don't why Andy Reid is on the hot seat, he's one of the best coaches in the game and the fact that his team hasn't had great success in a couple of years is just the nature of football, however, I don't think Reid misses the playoffs 2 years in a row. Vick gets it done (to an extent) as they will win the division over the Giants and play in the NFC championship game and come up short, maybe against this team...

Why the Packers?!!! They have Aaron Rodgers, who is the best player in football right now. That's gotta count for something. He will win games when they are being outplayed and should lose, that's what great players do, they uneven the playing field. Why I'm not picking them to win?!!! When you win 15 games and lose at home in your 1st playoff game, like they did last year, it damages your pysche and remember boys and girls and girls who really are boys, football is about momentum. They will be great and definitely not an easy out but you gotta to be physically and mentally tough to win, like this team will be...

People say how poorly the Packers played against the Giants in last year's playoff game. Which is true, but may I remind you the Giants destroyed them last year 37-21, so that theory would hold more water if the game was close but you know who the Giants didn't destroy? The San Francisco 49ers, that was the most evenly matched game in the playoffs. An unfortunate special teams turnover decided that game in overtime. No I don't think that Alex Smith is great but neither was Brad Johnson or Trent Dilfer and they won Super Bowls. They have a superior defense, enough playmakers on offense (and yes I think Randy Moss at some point will make a difference for them) plus I really like Jim Harbaugh as a head coach. That team will be the hungriest and with teams being so equal in talent, I'm going with the ones that want that extra pancake boo.

Super Bowl predictions
I can't really take Alex Smith over Big Ben in the Super Bowl. I think when it's all said and done Rothlisberger is gonna go down as one of the best ever and that means winning 'Chips he's got 2 already and I see a third 17-13 Steelers!!!

Dueces!!!

P.S. You think I forgot
49ers +5.5
Lions -7
Bears over 43
Jets u 38.5