The Jordan 5
Michael Jordan
Magic Johnson
Scottie Pippen
James Worthy
Hakeem Olajuwon
Once MJ named his unbeatable 5, everyone in the hoops world took notice. Why wouldn't you. If The G.O.A.T. speaks you listen. You have to admit, as far as line-up goes, that's a pretty impressive line-up. No one on is under 6-6, they're comfortable with playing with each other and any team with Jordan on it stands a chance of not losing, but I also take this team with a grain of salt. MJ the baller is undisputed, but MJ the team organizer...welllll slow down. Constructing teams is not exactly your strong suit MJ, unless you want to talk about Kwame Brown, Adam Morrison and Tyrus Thomas???
Look, I ain't no punk Mike. You can't just tell me that you got a starting 5 and no one would ever beat you. Sure you made Gatorade my hangover drink, Jordan's my wedding shoes and you tricked people into thinking that bald heads with diamond stud earrings is a sexy look (and truly I thank you for that) and yeah your dunk on Ewing was as nasty and inappropriate to New York Knick fans as a Matt Barnes 3rd quarter tweet, but still, That don't mean you can grab 4 dudes and beat anyone I put out on the black top. You have to understand homie, I have mastered the art of the pick-up game, both on the court and at the club ... Ladies?!!!! My point is that I know what it takes to win, so not only do I defy your claim that you got an unbeatable 5. I'm running 5 dudes that will give your team a straight run for the money. You wanna hear em, here they go...
C- Shaquille O' Neal. Wait hold up MJ, I love the Dream, but you made yo' 1st mistake son. It's a pick up game, so ain't no free throws dog. Which is the only real weakness the Diesel ever had. Shaq gets fouled, we take it out up top. Run it right back to him. No way Hakeem matches the raw power of The Big Pythagorean Theorem, so now you gotta start double teaming which means I'm also running out...
F- Larry Bird. How the hell you gon' have an unbeatable team. When I'm running out a dude who's nickname is Legend?!!! Whenever you double Shaq, he kicking it out to the best shooter in the history of the game. Oh will Larry love the sound of those chain nets, TWANG, and plus he's a noted shit talker, something that's oh so important in street ball. Maybe, just maybe, you don't leave The Legend open, but you got to leave somebody open right? Shaq is pummeling mofo's down low. Which is why on the other other wing, I'm running out....
SG - Reggie Miller. Also a trash talker supreme. So you can double Shaq if you want, as my squad continuously run the 2 man game between Shaq and Bird, but if you try to send weak side help. You leave Reggie 'I shoot from 23 feet in my sleep' Miller wide open. I got 2 of the 5 best outside shooters spreading the court out, with the most dominant player since, that dude that fought Conan the Barbarian to the death and boned 20,000 women (and not so much as one visible herpes sore, what are the odds?) My team still however lacks a little moxie so that's why I'm going with a dude who's game screams STREET (the caps represents the screaming)...
PG Gary Payton - Any great street baller, needs a shit talking, ball hawkin', ain't afraid of nobody, do everything kind of dude on his team. Payton can post, shoot the J, dish the rock and D up. All the while he's telling you he's doing it, doing it, doing it well. Which means I need one more player, one that brings toughness, straight thuggery...
F- Charles Oakley. Oh yeah, this maybe a shock to some but here me out boo. Whenever you play a pick up game, everyone hates to go against that elbow throwing, knock you on yo ass type that knows he can't foul out, so what does he do? He keeps fouling you, the game last 20 minutes longer than its suppose too, strictly because of this dude. Everybody's on the side arguing about who's got next. Secretly hoping that my team lose so they don't have to play against Oak. I could have went with other players like Rodman, Laimbeer, Xavier McDaniel and for you true old schoolers Maurice Lucas, but ultimately, I settled on a dude who apparently bitched slapped Charles Barkley during the '99 NBA lockout and Barkely..didn't ..do .. nuttin', now that's tough and that's why I'm riding with Oak Tree. Plus he can hit that corner J, ya dig!!!
So that's my squad, An unstoppable force, 3 shit talkers, 2 of the best 3 point shooters ever, a do it all guard, a ratchet man, a clear offensive and defensive game plan, 2 turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree. We got Next!!!
Vegas Picks of the Week
New Orleans -3over San Fran
Keep drinking that 49er kool-aid and watch them lose by 13
Kansas City +8.5 over Denver
Krytopnite to the Broncos is a very physical team, guess what the Chiefs are???
Bears/Baltimore under 46 points
I don't care how bad these defenses are, it's the Bears and Ravens Damnit
Oakland + 7 over Houston
When has the Texans shown to be more than 7 points better than anybody???
Seattle -12 over Minnesota
The Vikings almost beat the Cowboys then beat the Skins, they've peaked boo trust me
Til next week, Dueces!!!
Don't forget to catch Kevin Bozeman every Sunday night on www.foxsportsradio.com at 10:15pm central time and every Sunday morning from 10-noon on www.560thewind.com
Don't forget to like Kevin's fan page for his highly anticipated podcast, Ball Hog https://www.facebook.com/Ballhogpodcast?ref=hl
For upcoming tour dates to see Kevn's live stand up show go to Www.KevinBozeman.com
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