I never get what I want for x-mas. I ask and I ask but yet people never get me what I want. I'm a simple man, I'm not asking for the world. A gift certificate to a Nike Outlet store, a video game or 2 to keep the inner child alive and well and maybe throw in a slab of applewood smoked bacon. What's wrong with that? Instead what do I get. A pocket knife and an AM radio with a flashlight, as if someone is slowly preparing me for a zombie apocalypse. I got a fucking tie last year. Getting me a tie is the equivalent of getting someone else a fruitcake. It says 'I really wanted to get you something to show that I don't care about you at all'
So this year, I'm reaching out to the world of immortals. The man that used to come thru for me year after year. That's right good Ol' St. Nick. The last month or so, I've studied theories, listen to analysts, jotted notes on player and coaches interviews, and all I want Santa, is for you to make the perfect sports world for me. here's my x-mas list buddy:
Ist, fix football Santa.
Get rid of the extra point. It's a useless play. Every touchdown is worth 7 points and if they go for a 2 point conversion and fail, then it's worth 6 points. The NFL already made kickers and punters irrelevant by stating that they can't be hit during the field of play. Go ahead and go that extra yard. The extra point is the most mundane play in ALL of sports. Completely useless and a waste of time. Bill Belichek says so and he's the smartest person in the NFL, just ask Peyton Manning
Allow coaches to challenge pass interference calls. Every pass play; (is this where a semi colon goes) players, fans, coaches and commentators are waiting/asking for a penalty flag to be dropped. It has dominated the game. If that's the case, then let coaches challenge the penalty. We're trying to get the game right aren't we?!! Same rule applies, if you lose the challenge, you lose a time out. So simple. Jon Gruden thinks they should and he's only the biggest football nerd in the NFL, just ask Ron Jaworski. You know how hard it is for Jaws to be made obsolete.
You would think that I would ask Santa to change all the illegal hit penalties and defensive rule changes that allow offenses to score 30 points a game (not you N.Y. Giants, I'm not talking about your shit team) I however am not, mostly because I know what it feels like to be concussed every Monday morning.... Hello Jameson*
* Santa if you could give me a super absorbent liver, that would be awesome
2nd, Baseball Hall of Fame
I really go back and forth about who belongs in the Hall of Fame and who does not. I think that players like Bonds and Clemons should get in, they were clear HOF's before they started 'allegedly' juicing. While players like Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire had no chance of making it until they started juicing, should not get in. However, what do we do with players like A-Rod and Manny Ramirez, when did they start juicing, right away or much later in their careers? Is it fair that they get in, while Sosa and Mac sits? What about the players that did it the right way, like Frank Thomas and Curt Schilling who was calling out players juicing long before the media did anything about it. Which brings me to the Baseball HOF voters. Isn't it their journalistic responsibility to investigate these matters. The right to vote for the Hall of Fame is a prestigious honor and they at the very least owe us, the fan, the due diligence to turn over every nook and cranny over why and how mediocre players were now hitting 50 home runs per year, instead of trying to pass the "baseball are wound tighter so the ball travels further" theory. I also find it weird, that when Mark McGwire and the happy go lucky black man Sammy Sosa was crushing the ball, the media smiled and said how great the game of baseball was, but when the angry black man Barry Bonds started crushing the ball, all of a sudden, 'there's something wrong with the game of baseball', but that's for a different blog. So what I'm asking Santa, is that you make these pompous, self righteous, contradictory, (I vote Tony Larussa into the Hall, but not Mark McGwire, who Tony clearly defended while he was cheating, playing for Tony's team) hypocritical voters, to set some basic guidelines for hall of Fame induction. ie, 500 home runs, 300 wins automatic hall entry while allowing players that come up short of arbitrary numbers the right to be voted in. And yes I still say a big fuck you to Pete Rose.
3rd, College Basketball
It's simple Santa, I believe high school players should be allowed to play in the NBA immediately, it's the American way. If you're gonna make them stay, make it 2 years. The college game would benefit from it. I'll take the sure fire NBA prospect over the fringe Overseas, D-league prospect any day of the week. The longer you keep NBA prospects in college the better chance we'll have of not watching a Duke/Butler finals again. Imagine watching a player like Jabari Parker who just dropped 20+ points, 10 boards and 5 dimes (pretty impressive for a Duke freshman until you hear the last freshman to do it was Corey Maggette ... Then not so much) come back for a 2nd year. I know the players union fought hard to allow players to jump ship after one year, but don't you have a magical fairy dust or something
Last but definitely not least, NBA
I really think that the NFL with it's rule changes is losing its appeal among sport fans. Now's the chance for the NBA to pounce. I believe the NBA can become America's game. OK, the sport is too dominated by African-Americans for that to actually happen, but hey white people you can claim Blake Griffin. (does anyone know his nationality? This is a good thing right?) At the very least it would change the perception that the NBA is a selfish group of malcontents, who don't play hard and are only worth watching during the playoffs. All you have to do Santa, is change the lottery format. Instead of the worst playoff team getting the best chance to win the 1st pick in the draft, how about the best non-playoff team, gets the most lottery balls. It makes so much sense. That means no more teams tanking it. No more trading away a teams best assets, to 'rebuild' for the future. No taking games off. Win and be rewarded. This isn't rocket science Santa. A family of four pays well over a $100 to go see a NBA basketball game, shouldn't they be rewarded with a teams best effort. "Hey season ticket holder, I know our team is shit, but we're gonna try to win as many games as possible, so we can get a high lottery pick" - sincerely Random NBA GM. I've been championing this notion for years and so has Mike Greenberg from ESPN, I'm not saying he stole my idea, but my blog has been picking up steam. Anyway, who cares. He's the most popular voice in sports radio so he's gotta know something right?
While you're at it Santa, if you could you know... Like um, well you know...
Denver -10.5 over Houston, always bet against Houston
Dallas -3.5 over Washington, Washington is bad but this Cowboys meltdown is one for the ages
Dallas over 54, if the weather is atrocious then be leery, if not, then this should be covered by halftime
San Francisco -10 over Atlanta, the 49ers make a habit of crushing bad teams and the Falcons are bad
Carolina -3 over the Saints, This ain't the Superdome homie
Bengals -8 over Minnesota, Bengals are a different team at home
Ravens -2 over New England, Gronkowski injured makes the Pats very beatable
Catch Kevin every Sunday night at 10:15 CST on Foxsportsradio.com and every Sunday morning from 10am-noon CST on 560wind.com
For tour dates go to Kevinbozeman.com
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